It seems like the ‘Dog Days of Summer’ have been upon us forever this year … didn’t it start getting outrageously hot in June? And here we are, finally, in the more traditional dog days of August, and … our air conditioner went kaput. How totally uncool.
Took my first dip in the pool this morning while waiting for our friendly local Havana heating and cooling biz rep to come assess. When he was done, he looked quite sad as he delivered the news. It’s never a good thing when someone is talking repair or replacement and the first word out of their mouth is ‘motor.’ This time it was ‘motor module is bad.’
Seems we no longer have capacitators and the like that can be individually replaced - everything is integrated together into the new module mode, and, of course, is more expensive. Thank heaven we’re still under warranty - some folks might remember our last a/c crisis which involved replacing the whole darn unit.
Anyway, my brain is fried from the heat, so naturally, I had to hunt out some bon mots about our problem. Enjoy!
• A customer’s new, computerized furnace stops working. But each time the technician shows up, it works flawlessly. The exasperated technician tells the customer: “I had a car just like that. Every time I drove it past the junk yard, it ran just fine.”
• The best air conditioning man in the world died and went to hell. Satan thought he’d have some fun with him and gave him the impossible job of cooling off the temperature in Satan’s huge office. To Satan’s amazement, he finished the job very quickly. So Satan sent him out to drop the temperature in the rest of hell, and amazingly he got the temperature to drop a few degrees in the rest of hell – just enough to where the inhabitants of hell didn’t mind going there quite as much. One day the phone rang and St. Peter told Satan that there had been a clerical mistake and the AC man belonged in heaven. He’d been sent to hell by mistake, and must be sent back to heaven immediately. Satan refused, explaining that the man was starting to make hell a bit more comfy. St. Peter finally threatened to sue Satan if he didn’t send the man to heaven. Satan replied: “Where are you going to find a lawyer up there?”
• Why did the AC tech run toward the AC? He was charging it.
• Why did the AC man cross the road? He opened the AC and found a wasp’s nest in it.
• Why did the AC compressor sweat? Because it had to run all day.
• What was the bird arrested for when he hopped out of the flue pipe? Draft dodging.